Mountain classic. Hee-hee.
A mountain home for a client who is 160 cm tall, wears blonde pigtails and a moon-themed magical-girl outfit daily. Wood, carved axes and folk patterns, because classic. In the middle of every room a Greek column upholstered in black leather, also classic, just a different kind. Outside the window, a mountain carved into a portrait of the King of Pop. Kokos didn't ask about the permit. Kokos sold the view.
[ BRIEF ]
The client arrived in a moon-themed magical-girl outfit, carrying a lightstick and a basket of tangerines. The brief: “classic highlander, lots of wood, and in every room a Greek column in black leather”. Kokos asked whether the column should support anything. “The mood”, she replied. Plus a juicer for every fruit, a bedroom wall “with character” and a view of a mountain the King of Pop gazes down from. Kokos logged it all in arkeeno before she could change her mind or her outfit.
[ HOW IT WENT ]
A carpenter from Chochołów looked at the drawing and asked if it was a joke. Kokos showed him the deposit. The carpenter stopped asking. Every column stands exactly in the middle of its room, so in the lounge you walk round it to reach the fireplace, and in the kitchen to reach the mango. The client calls it “Greek feng shui”. The Greeks have not commented. Neither have the highlanders, but one came over to look and stroked it.
The kitchen has fourteen juicers. For citrus, for pomegranates, a watermelon with a tap, one for coconuts. That last one gives Kokos mixed feelings, but he drinks from it most. The fruit baskets are so big the supplier comes twice a week and once at night, “just in case”. Between deliveries the client rehearses K-pop choreography around the column. Kokos rehearses dodging falling bananas.
In the bedroom one log wall received a collection of leather accessories, arranged like a boutique: crops, cuffs, corsets, masks. Kokos designed the hooks, the lighting and the labels. He asked nothing. A professional doesn't ask, a professional picks grout. The fitters asked a great deal, right up until the first corset was hung. Then came a silence the Tatras hadn't heard since the winter of the century. In the window stands the King of Pop mountain. It looks straight at that wall. The client says he would understand.
[ KOKOS SAYS ]
“The client said: wood, leather, fruit, K-pop and the King of Pop. I said: that doesn't go together. Then I sent the quote. Turns out it goes together beautifully, especially in the revenue column.”
KOKOS.
SALES / MIX AZJATYCKI
[ RESULTS ]
14
JUICERS
4
COLUMNS IN BLACK LEATHER
0
QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BEDROOM
[ CLIENT SAYS ]
“In the name of the moon: this is the best house in the mountains. Kokos never once asked about the bedroom wall. He only asked if he could have coconut juice. Hee-hee.”
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